This is one of those posts that even as I’m writing it, I’m not sure I’ll ever hit publish. It’s so personal. It’s so very special. It’s so near and dear to our hearts. It’s our whole world, because it’s the family we’ve prayed for.
It’s the news that we have two more frozen embryos. We have TWO MORE CHILDREN, ‘frozen in time’ in Denver, Colorado. They are 2 of 3 embryos we had from Noella’s IVF cycle. With our fourth round of IVF that we did in 2016, we were able to get five embryos. After the testing and biopsy we had done, three of those five were viable for implantation and pregnancy. One of them is two and a half now, sitting next to me in her pig tails and rain boots. We know the genders of our two remaining embryos! We (think) we know their names! And not a day goes by that they don’t cross our minds. They are answers to prayer, designed and created by God, part Shawn and part Jenn, part of our family, there since 2016, but not here yet…
I know. It’s a lot to process. It’s a bizarre thing, to know you have more children to come but trusting God for the right timing, a safe thawing and FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer), a healthy and safe pregnancy, birth and arrival.
As a writer, I love to open our world a little bit when we can. The thing I like about being open on this blog, and sharing the personal side, is that we can look back on it. I love coming across a blog post I wrote during a low or challenging season. Partly because it reminds me what it was like (not that I could ever forget), and partly because it shows me how far we’ve come (by God’s grace alone), and it makes where we are now that much sweeter.
A big part of me hopes that, in sharing this big and personal news, that we will all be able to see the faithful hand of God throughout the wait and process of these remaining two joining our family. One reason I chose way back when to start blogging about infertility was because I didn’t want to get to the end of it, with a baby on my hip, and no one have a clue about the tears, the loss, the gut wrenching years of praying, hoping, and waiting that we went through. I wanted people to see that God was faithful “even then”, and that he provided, in big and little ways.
And we turn to God, once again, and trust him with our future. A future that is unknown to us, there is still risk and chance involved in these embryo babies joining our family, but it’s a future that is known and crafted by God- the very creator of life.
As was the case in the past with a personal blog post, there are some questions we may not answer. But as always, we welcome your prayers as we raise Noella and Shilo, and dream of the day the six of us can be together.