This fall is when we plan to move from the “pregnant mindset” of knowing there are two more to come, to hopefully knowing there are two more growing inside of me!
A DOUBLE TRANSFER
We don’t know what will happen, but we’ve decided to jump in head first, go big or go home, and trust the lives we have (two frozen embryos) into the knowing and mighty hands of God, and transfer them BOTH AT ONCE.
As I mentioned briefly in this post, even through the struggle with infertility and its treatments, Shawn and I wanted to share openly about the process because we were confidant God would work, and we didn’t want to just show the polished, smooth, end result of a positive pregnancy test. And this feels like the same kind of thing. We’re back at the beginning, with high hopes, a somewhat daunting process ahead (although nowhere near as overwhelming as a full IVF process), and we’re wanting to take little steps toward where we feel God leading.
It’s amazing how quickly the fear of the unknown + the deep rooted need for control over our lives can take over: in many areas of life. In this, the hopes to grow our family (times two), the struggle is there once again and I find myself looking for what faith looks like practically. How do I trust God with something so special to us, something we prayed for and worked for, and waited for, but something that is still so fragile and bearing unknown results? Will the transfer work? Will I get pregnant? Will it be TWINS? (All caps because we too, are still letting that sink in, we too, are wrapping our minds around the idea of TWINS.)
There are risks. Risks in whether or not it works. Risks in being vulnerable about the process.
But God doesn’t see it as a risk because he already knows what is going to happen, because he is already there.
Now he just wants to see our faith as we wait and as we begin this process for a fall 2020 double embryo transfer.
Thanks for your love and prayers as we move forward, and with God’s grace, go big or go home.