Falling in love, all the more

Falling in love, all the more

You remind me it was two years ago I had my D&C after the loss of our boy/girl twins. Of course I remember. And we both remember with tears. The tears don’t come in sobs, like they once did. They come softly at the remembrance of heartache and pain. The tears are also an acknowledgement that God heals. And He never leaves our side. And He never forgets what we can’t forget either. And that makes us fall in love with Him all the more…

When my girls and I find something funny at the same time and we all three laugh. That makes me fall in love with them all the more…

Watching our girls sit by each other on the couch, wet hair braided, and remembering the rounds of IVF, the prayers, the pleading, the shots, the losses along the way… that makes me fall in love with them all the more…

When it’s too late for a meal but I’m suddenly “starving and within an inch of death’s doorstep” and you make me a hummus, falafel, olives, feta cheese wrap (out of thin air), I fall in love with you all the more…

When Noella paints and crafts and creates with such concentration, when her compassionate heart breaks over seeing a homeless person, when she chooses Lil’ Sis as her best friend, it makes me fall in love with her all the more…

When Shawn swoops up our girls like they’re still tiny newborns, and hugs their belly aches away, it makes me fall in love with him all the more…

When Shawn surprises me and brings home frozen custard (with strawberries and gummy worms) because getting the girls down for bed has been omg (!!) I fall in love with him all the more…

When Shilo flashes the ‘I love you’ sign with two lingering chubby baby hands as I’m tucking her in, and asks big, curious questions, I fall in love with her all the more…

When Shawn forgives quickly, it makes me fall in love with him all the more…

Trying to look at the people in my life as love stories, because that’s what they are. The pages and chapters are being written day by day. I just can’t forget who holds the pen. It’s not me, but a good, good, Author.


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