“What Paul is saying (in Philippians 1) is basically this: “I am preaching the gospel to the world from a prison cell. I’m doing my job, what he put me on earth to do, wherever I am. But I’m also representing Christ, even if I’m not preaching to somebody. Even when I’m not writing an epistle to you, everybody in this prison is watching me in chains. How I live day in and out in these chains is changing them.” Why don’t we see our jobs, our blogs, our neighborhoods, or even our time in hospitals or infertility clinics like this? Often we applaud exceptional ministry and miss the everyday ministry that nobody sees.”
Restless: Because You Were Made for More by Jennie Allen
Wait. What? She mentioned fertility clinics? That place where nobody ever wants to go, that place of sadness and shame? That place with the awkward waiting room? That place we’ve become all too familiar with?
While reading Restless the other day I couldn’t believe that was one of the “behind the scenes” ministries that she mentioned. God is a crazy God and works in crazy ways that are often beyond our imaginations, or even what makes sense to us . . . but what if he has us where he has us to USE us for his glory? Someway, somehow.
How will that change our view from here, in the middle of the sadness and the confusion?
Speaking of waiting rooms, and doctors and nurses, and surgery staff, we’ve come in contact with a lot of people through this ongoing journey of infertility and loss, both in Senegal and America. Maybe God is doing something behind the scenes in our behind the scenes. He’s a God who does what he wants, even when we’re unaware of his plan, his reasonings.
It doesn’t lessen the pain to think that God could be doing something through all of this, but it certainly gives the pain a purpose. Does that make sense?
There are a lot of really, really hard things going on in my family right now. And it doesn’t help that they’re so far away from me, separated by an entire ocean. I cannot, from where I sit, see how good could ever come from all of this heartache. But I’m not writing the story. God is. And while I can’t change the situation(s), I can beg our God of redemption to turn this story into an ending that will bring him glory, and will remind us all that a good ending is actually possible.
Even if we don’t see it in our lifetime, someone will see it, and know that the pain had a purpose.