We waited for well over two weeks (it felt like three years) for the next set of results. When the phone call finally came, I was inside watching TV and Shawn was outside grilling.
It was more good news! All but one of our embryos that they biopsied and sent off for tests came back chromosomally normal and viable for transfer. Thank you God! That alone was reason to rejoice, reason to celebrate.
But then there was another bit of information. Life-changing information, the kind you’ll never forget, and even more reason to celebrate:
The question that came next was what made everything, this whole process so so so real. “Would you like to know the gender of your embryos?”
Me: “One second.” *Dramatically flings open the sliding door to our little yard where Shawn was grilling* “Do we want to know the gender of our embryos?!?!”
“SURE!” Shawn said emphatically, while casually moving some chicken around in his smoker.
We had talked about it a lot lately. Would we like to know if given the opportunity? Or would we want to wait until there’s a positive pregnancy test? Or would we rather wait a few months down the road like most pregnant people? We weren’t even sure if our gamut of tests would give us the opportunity to know or not, and we weren’t sure at what point we would even find out – if we’d even make it this far in the treatment! So we were really surprised to have the opportunity to find out, especially at this point in the game. But when we had the chance to know, we couldn’t turn it down. We had to know. We were just too excited.
I wrote the report down on a little sticky note, which is now taped to our fridge.
We were filled with joy. The kind of joy where you laugh-cry because you don’t know how else to respond. To know the gender of your children before you’re even pregnant is the most mind-blowing thing – possibly ever! The coolest thing about all of this is that while this may not be the ‘conventional way’ of bringing a baby into the world, it’s still a miracle! We’re able to stand by and watch – from the earliest days- our creator form human life. He chose from the beginning of this treatment (from the beginning of time) how many embryos would be strong enough to make it to this point. (Not all of them did.) He chose the gender with us in mind, He chose the number of cells for each embryo, the timeline of formation – Ahhh! IT’S ALL JUST SO COOL!
As we move forward with phase 2 of this treatment (more injections, tests, and appointments, within the next two months), we ask our creator – the one who knew and formed Shawn & Jenn as embryos, to hold our hearts steady as we continue to pray, hope, and trust that this miracle will continue. There are so many things we can be tempted to put our hope in throughout this treatment: the best doctors, the top embryologist, the right medicine, the right dose, the best nurse, the perfect tests, the right timing, the newest procedures, the results we hope for, ETC.
But our hope comes from God. And we thank him for all he’s done throughout this process so far. We push fear aside (the past! Our track record with loss! Our familiarity with grief!) and we choose thankfulness and praise for the miracles we’ve seen up to this point.